The Real Me

She is hidden. No one knows the real her. If you listen and take the time to find out, you may look at
her differently. You may not see that she lived a trapped childhood. Abuse, neglect, not knowing who to turn to or what the next day would bring. Her cover was a smile. She wore it everyday through it all. She used to have so many friends. She never told them the truth, what was really going on. "Why do you have bruises all over?," she told them she was clumsy and they just laughed along with her. "How did you break your arm?," She told them she fell off her bike. She joined lots of sports and clubs to stay away from home. Even got multiple jobs when she was old enough. No matter how hard she laughed or tried to make it seem unreal, the monster was always at home waiting for her, ready to pounce. Even on the special occasions, birthdays, Christmas, Easter, she could never do anything right. She always turns back to the questions "Why me?, What did I do wrong?, Why do I deserve this?" One day it stopped. The monster was no longer in sight. She felt safe again but so traumatized. The therapy sessions and doctor appointments only got worse. She pushed everyone away even the ones closest to her. She was afraid to be hurt again.

I decided to really reveal myself. I feel like most people don’t actually know who I am and what I think about. I had my sister go out and take a picture of me. I look happy but I’m really not on the inside. I made it all black and white and put flowers around because those are supposed to be a sign of happiness. Black and white is supposed to be the darkness. The sad and alone is how I feel. I don’t have many friends and I’m alone and sad. I blurred myself  out to show that I’m hidden and shy. I put the bright, smiling, happy, sun over everything because I look happy to others.

In "The Personality Myth," podcast by invisibilia, they talk about describing people's personalities based on what they look like and who they are. If you are a prisoner, you are a bad person. If you cry a lot you are a baby. If you are happy you are always happy. They can do that by not looking at someone’s past. They also talked about looking at someone’s past and determining if someone can change, and if their past describes them.

In the podcast they went to a prison and talked to this prisoner named Dave I believe. He was trying to get TED Talks in prison. He seemed like a very nice person. They got to know each other and they never asked what Dave did to be in prison. They were very curious though because he was s nice, he didn’t seem like he could hurt a butterfly. One day they asked him. He had done some very bad things and they didn’t look at him the same. They stopped communication for awhile. Does Dave deserve to be categorized as a prisoner when he has obviously changed and truly regrets what he did? They judged him based on his past.

I believe that everyone deserves a second chance. They put their past in the past, why can’t you? No matter what they did severe or not, people can change. I think people judge right away instead of getting to know the person. I know I have a bad habit of doing it and I know I’m not the only one. We are always taught to hold a grudge. We are never taught to forgive right away. I think if we learn how to forgive a little more, than everyone would be nicer, we wouldn’t be so easy to judge. We would be more understanding, maybe even have more empathy for certain situations instead of just sympathy.